Saturday, May 28

the past evaporates
like rain puddles
when the sun shines on them

like a mermaid's corpse
on the sea - it leaves no soul, no
memory of being.

beauty can fade into nothing except
a vaguely bitter aftertaste like
morning coffee, when you're

too sleepy to appreciate
its biting sting.

yours truly
4:38 PM
0 comments

xoxo



guess i'm a little tired
of being at your beck and call.
reckon that this is adoration? i feel
like such a dog.

guess i'm a little tired
of holding out my hand, holding out
my heart, when all you'll ever do is
slap it away; maybe step on it.

i don't know, i don't
know you anymore. did i ever?

tempted to do the craziest things.

stop eating 'cos you said i'm
chubby, but crash dieting'll
crash your system.
stick my finger down my throat
to make up for it, but they say
your tooth enamel gets eroded.

like my morals.

a proud princess scrubbing floors
to earn a little charity. what happened to
your dignity?

it still drives me insane that i can't always
get what i want. and all i ever wanted was -
you?

yours truly
4:06 PM
2 comments

xoxo

Wednesday, May 25

you don't see much in me - never did.
i'm the daughter you bore to
keep the first one company,
keep her happy.

grew up wanting to be like her,
the perfect offspring.
brilliant with all your
chem and math genes, the
smile of a model,
the eyes of your youth.

but i guess i've always been
your greatest disappointment.
maybe embarrassment?

and maybe if i curl up small enough,
you won't see me, won't see my flaws,
my lack of resolve.

maybe if i hide away you
won't see i'm alive.
in my mind's eye, someone
holds me, someone
loves me.

but dreams don't come true.

yours truly
9:49 PM
4 comments

xoxo

Tuesday, May 24

they taught you the steps but you
made them your own. light toes against
the worn parquet, slithering, sliding.
under the spotlight, your beauty is ethereal,
your grace frozen in time.

when you dance, you own the room.

harsh spotlight reflected on the
glittering golden leaf in your hair. like a leaf
blown and tossed in the wind, you succumb
to the music's will and power as the awed claps
swell into a thunderous applause.

and i feel my blood leaving my
head and flowing away, to
the heart of the music and rhythm and beat,
to where the steps all begin
and the movements end.

when you dance, i hold my breath and pray
you never fall. you musn't fall - you
can't fall.

but even if you do, i'll be there at the bottom of the
stage, waiting to catch a falling
star.

yours truly
10:09 PM
0 comments

xoxo

Monday, May 23


yours truly
2:47 PM
3 comments

xoxo

Sunday, May 22

i'd like to give you this gift but
i'm not quite sure if you'd like it.

it's a globe that fits perfectly in the curve of my palm -
it might be a little small for you - filled with a
fragrant gel-and-cream semi-liquid softness.

it trembles like purple jelly in parts,
as clear as melted grape-scented wax,
with a stiffer white cream swirled in the centre

it promises smoother, softer skin
that smells good enough to eat.
it smells of passionfruit.

i'm not too sure you'd like it because you see -
it doesn't smell like me.

yours truly
12:49 AM
0 comments

xoxo

Wednesday, May 18

there you sit, all in a daze
not really seeing,
not really hearing.
i wonder if you're drowning in
your morphine dreams.

tell me,
are the stars any brighter,
the skies any clearer,
my smile any dearer? now

your senses are muted to
my voice, my gaze, my
agony.
i wonder how you feel, drowning in
your morphine dreams.

yours truly
7:42 PM
0 comments

xoxo

Friday, May 13

time marches on inexorably
marked by the staccato dancing of
the second hand of the clock
black against the smug cream face
etched numerals like ugly scars

i sit in the stony silence of blasting music
turn the speakers up to the max til
i can't hear myself breathe
she lies on my bed snoring gently arms wrapped
tightly about my book

i breathe shallowly
feel my lungs expand and contract
a hypnotic rhythm only i
could dream of drowning in
there's no need for movement

the silence is so loud it hurts my ears
i find myself secretly falling apart
the seconds tick by - yet another minute gone
an hour a day a week a month a year
a lifetime

tick

tick


tick



tick




tick.

yours truly
8:42 PM
0 comments

xoxo

Friday, May 6

let's play a little game of
truth or dare.

tell me, do you believe in love?
oh.
you do? how
shocking.

i thought love was
rather passe.
a game, a name, something quite
meaningless.

oh.
you don't think so?

well then. let's settle it with a bet -
love me if you dare.

yours truly
10:07 PM
0 comments

xoxo

Thursday, May 5

on the 174,
i sit behind you.

you don't know who i am,
but that is expected.
you glance backwards at me -
you've seen this girl before.

my face is vaguely familiar,
like a distant, barely-there memory.
but you don't recognise the uniform,
and you gloss over the face above it.

i stare at the back of your head and wonder if
my seniors did that too.

yours truly
9:04 PM
0 comments

xoxo

Wednesday, May 4
you brushed past me
again.

strangely enough,
sometimes it seems as if we could almost
stop and talk as if
we knew each other
and yet

we continue walking
past each other, the formidable silence
a barrier too great for me to cross.

am i nothing but
a shadow to you? a girl
with a sad countenance and dark skin
whose eyes constantly seek yours.

i look past them
at you -

strolling past, your voice lingering; too cool to care,
i watch you beneath lowered lashes.

your chatter reminds me
of my own.
narcissm? -

you glance my way
but i guess
it must be a figment of my
overreactive imagination

'cos you never looked at me
before.
it can't happen.
not now.

not


ever.

yours truly
10:33 PM
0 comments

xoxo

Tuesday, May 3

woman sitting
on an airconditoner unit.

i watch her curiously, pressing
my forehead against the cold
metal window grilles.

is that a
baby in her arms?

i squint.

she continues bending over, gingerly
wiping the dust from the vent.

i walk away.

yours truly
9:31 PM
0 comments

xoxo



you.

there you go walking past me
without a glance.
i want to make you turn around;
look at me in the face;
say my name.

i lied today when i said
i couldn't see the face of
the girl in my dream.

i lied.
i know i did - because it was
your face i saw.
your arms around me
your chin against the
nape of my neck.

in the dream i watched the
words on the page
tremble and move with emotion

if i let go and let
the book fall
would you catch it? would you
catch me?

you.

one day i'll make you turn around;
face me; and
say my name outloud.

pride cannot be thwarted.

i have mine
let me break yours.

yours truly
8:12 AM
0 comments

xoxo

it's over;
May 2005
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