Friday, June 24

sometimes
you make me
afraid to
love.

when i no longer know what to
believe - and your
words rattle about in
my head
taunting me

i'm not sure
exactly
what you expect
of me.

if i was
wrong about you
or if you are

but there's something
within me
whispering
follow your heart

and to somehow
let you see
what you really are - at least
to me.

physics lies -
the mirror's reflection is an
inaccurate representation
of you.

yours truly
11:14 PM
0 comments

xoxo

Thursday, June 23

for the bitterness i hid within
and all the pain i've harboured
for the hurt i inflicted on myself
and the pride i should've swallowed
for the world i could have had
and the dreams i've left behind
for all the hopes i've killed
and all the 'might-have-been's -

i'd give anything to change.


[an unknown date, somewhere in 2001]

yours truly
8:12 PM
3 comments

xoxo

Wednesday, June 22

hot heavy liquid -
a molten mixture of
broken promises, un-met expectations, raw bitterness -

poured into my heart.
night after night after night. there is no
escape.

each morning i find the wax,
cooled and hardened
into a layer

that stops me from feeling
too much.

and each time
the layer thickens
til i find myself
filling up
fast

til i cannot breathe
cannot feel my heart beat
cannot move

and still it fills me up
til i cannot live

and each time
my capacity to contain
life's heartaches
shrinks

until

i overflow.

yours truly
10:04 PM
0 comments

xoxo

at night
i find myself
hugging air

while you sleep,
back turned to me.

i'm willing you to
face me, hold me
tight -

but you've always been
deaf.

the clock strikes midnight
and i walk towards it -
silence it -

then

out the door and past the window
i turn.

slumbering peacefully,
you don't notice i'm
gone.

yours truly
11:46 AM
8 comments

xoxo

Tuesday, June 21

the faint bloom of roses on
flawlessly translucent skin;
liquid foundation blended in impeccably,
absorbing just
the right amounts of
carefully positioned natural light.

or is it?

glossy, pouty lips painted
a startling crimson -
the latest shade of red to flaunt itself
across magazine covers -

just a touch too bright to be real.

eyes meticulously mascara-ed and lined
so as to appear
attractively wide-eyed and
beguilingly bewildered.

we gush over
the life-sized pseudo barbie

as if
we didn't know
you spend an hour each morning
putting on your face.

yours truly
7:00 PM
0 comments

xoxo

Saturday, June 18

what, exactly, is a poem?
short, sharp, and rather
to the point?

or mayhap
a lengthy regaling of an entire series of events,
a whimsical narrative,
an epic in every sense of the word?

and how,
should its structure be?
Formal, with the first letter of
Every sentence and line
In the upper case?

or perhaps
freeflowing and deliberately careless, a
direct translation of the
stream of consciousness?

and what should it be?
a moral lecture, targeted
at unruly youth?
a philosophical reflection on life?

or possibly
just emotions?

there really isn't an answer...
is there?

yours truly
6:09 PM
0 comments

xoxo



slowly
you move
until
we're face to face
and then i realise
the brown flecks in your dark eyes.

yours truly
5:03 PM
0 comments

xoxo

Wednesday, June 15

smooth stainless steel
of thickness exactly equal
throughout its entire length.
the brand stamped proudly like
a stubborn scar on its cold face,
tapering to an end sharp enough to cut my wrist
if i tried.

jagged on one side, as
smooth as glass on the other. trenches
dug deep in-between,
collecting dead skin cells as
i finger the key thoughtfully.

take it from me,
drag it across my open palm.
an expert flick of the wrist
leaves both our dead matter
in the metal hollows of the lock.

in and out.
in and
out.

this key's merely a carrier
of some invisible substance, the name of which
i've long forgotten.

yours truly
10:35 PM
2 comments

xoxo

Friday, June 10


yours truly
5:39 PM
4 comments

xoxo

Saturday, June 4

when do you know it's time to let go? when
the words stop coming and the smiles
don't start in your eyes anymore?
or perhaps when you find
the void between you has become
too wide, too vast, too
hard to fill, and you're left
too scared to try.

an accepted silence, more comfortable than struggling
to avoid wrong words. small, uncertain, hesitant steps
across a shaky bridge. i'm afraid to cross another inch
when you won't budge towards me at all. i feel myself
losing my balance, and i turn to run. but there's something
about your face, the way you stare at me with those
liquid eyes.

i can't let go, knowing i'm leaving a haunted creature behind.

i turn my back to you, but my conscience
snaps my head around. nervously.
guiltily. and maybe -
regretfully.

compelled to reach out to you, do anything at all
to somehow heal your pain.
the scars stood out starkly
against unblemished skin, but who was i to comment?
i didn't even know you, i didn't know what to say
that might have made a difference.

afraid to assume, because it makes an ass
out of you and me. and a bigger one of me.

which sin is greater,
that of speaking when silence is golden, or
remaining aloof when words can bridge the gap?

you smiled as we said goodbye
but really, i had nothing to say, except maybe
i'm sorry.

even then the words
caught in my throat
and i turned away
again.

yours truly
12:13 PM
3 comments

xoxo




yours truly
11:36 AM
2 comments

xoxo

it's over;
May 2005
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